Despite prostate cancer being one of the most common cancers in men, many choose to suffer in silence. In Part 1, I shared my brother Rob’s journey with prostate cancer. In our own family, we discovered this silence firsthand. Only after Rob underwent surgery did relatives reveal that our late grandfather had battled prostate cancer years earlier, something no one had ever discussed openly (Fernandez, 2025). This hush-hush approach is all too common. Why don’t people share what they are going through? Shame, stigma, and the desire to appear strong often play a role. In this second part of our Prostate Cancer Awareness Month series, we will explore the reasons behind this silence and how, as friends, family, and a society, we can encourage more open conversations. We will discuss the impact of shame and masculinity on men’s willingness to share, how to ask the right questions to support someone who may be hiding their struggle, and the benefits of awareness campaigns in changing perceptions and saving lives. We will also highlight key resources, including hotlines and hospitals, that provide support and information for individuals facing prostate cancer. It is time to break the silence and replace shame with support.

Why Many Suffer in Silence: Understanding Shame and Stigma

If your loved one is hesitant to tell others about their diagnosis, understand that it is not because they do not need support; often, it is because cancer can feel deeply personal and stigmatizing. This is especially true for prostate cancer in men. Culturally, many men are taught to be stoic and hide their vulnerability, as shown in studies of cancer patients and mental health help-seeking, which discourage emotional expression and delay support (Gomez et al., 2022; Mokhwelepa, 2025). A serious illness challenges that image. Experts note that many men prefer to keep a cancer diagnosis private because they do not like attention for a vulnerability such as a life-threatening illness, and wish to be seen as strong and capable (Michigan Medicine, 2024). In prostate cancer, treatment side effects like urinary incontinence or sexual dysfunction are sensitive topics that men often feel embarrassed to discuss (Michigan Medicine, 2024). That silence matches what we experienced in my family.

Feelings of shame or failure can also accompany a cancer diagnosis. A 2024 survey by Maggie’s of 500 men with cancer found that 17% felt embarrassed about their diagnosis, 12% felt guilty, 41% felt anxious, and 23% felt lonely (Maggie’s, 2024). The survey also revealed that 42% had not asked for support beyond medical care; of those, 14% cited embarrassment as a reason, 21% stated they didn’t want to discuss their feelings, and 15% believed support was not for men (Maggie’s, 2024). These statistics reflect real barriers that many men face in opening up about their cancer journey.

For men, traditional notions of masculinity can stop help-seeking. My brother Rob shared in his interview (Fernandez, 2025) that there was pressure to appear strong; admitting vulnerability felt like admitting failure. Also, the prostate’s link to sexual and urinary functions means symptoms like erectile difficulties or frequent urination are hard to talk about, even with close friends. Many fear being pitied or judged; many isolate themselves or keep their diagnosis details private.

Encouraging Openness: Asking the Right Questions and Offering Safe Space

How can we help someone who may be reluctant to share their cancer journey? The first step is to create a safe, nonjudgmental environment. You cannot force someone to open up, but you can gently invite conversation and make clear you are available and supportive. Asking open-ended, empathetic questions shows you care without pressuring them.

Here are some strategies for dialogue:

• Choose the right time and place: Privacy matters. Talk one-on-one, during a walk, in the car, or whenever they feel safe.
• Start with care and concern: A question like, “How are you feeling these days?” or “I’ve been thinking of you, how are things going with your health?” can open doors. Even if they say “I’m fine,” you signal that you are ready to listen.
• Use empathy in your questions: For example, “What has been hardest about this for you?” or “Is there something you wish people asked you, but they don’t?” Let them lead in what they share.
• Normalize talking about illness: You might say, “Lots of men feel shame or fear about this, you are not alone.” Rob said in his interview (Fernandez, 2025) that knowing someone was willing to listen without judgment made it easier for him to share gradually.
• Be ready to simply listen: If they open up, resist offering solutions or platitudes. Just hearing someone say, “I hear you,” or “Thanks for sharing that” can be huge.

Also, respect their pace. Not everyone is ready for deep conversations. Sometimes, just a consistent willingness to be present is enough. Reassure them that seeking emotional support is not a weakness. A survivor quoted by Maggie’s said, “You learn that resilience and strength actually are not some macho idea of being strong. Strength is facing difficult things and talking about them honestly” (Maggie’s, 2024). That idea breaks down stigma.

The Power of Awareness Campaigns: From Stigma to Support

This is where public awareness plays a critical role. Prostate Cancer Awareness Month, which occurs each September, and Movember-style campaigns exist because talking openly saves lives. When diseases are removed from shame and silence, two things happen: stigma decreases, and early detection increases.

Reducing stigma: Awareness campaigns promote real stories and accurate information. Experts like Daniela Wittmann at Michigan Medicine point out that side effects often feared by men, such as erectile dysfunction or urinary leaks, are manageable and not abnormal (Michigan Medicine, 2024). When public figures share openly, it reassures others that vulnerability does not mean shame or defeat.

Encouraging early detection: Early detection greatly improves outcomes. Michigan Medicine reports that for men diagnosed early, survival rates are very high (Michigan Medicine, 2024). But because early prostate cancer often has no symptoms, men may not seek PSA tests or exams until things are advanced. Awareness efforts help change that; campaign messages, community outreach, clinic screenings, and culturally relevant education can prompt more men to get checked (American Cancer Society, 2023; Michigan Medicine, 2024).

Prostate Cancer Awareness Month matters not just for awareness, but for shaping policy, funding, and social norms. When health systems, communities, and families invest in open conversation and support, people feel safer, understood, and more likely to seek care early.

Resources and Support: You Are Not Alone

• American Cancer Society (ACS): Offers comprehensive information, treatment options, support groups, and a 24-hour helpline.
• YouTube / Joanne Fernandez Podcast: Rob’s interview (Fernandez, 2025) shares honest reflections that help normalize conversations about prostate cancer.
• Michigan Medicine, ZERO Prostate Cancer, Malecare: Organizations that offer education, counseling, peer support, and reliable online resources.
• 211 Helpline: Connects you to local resources for emotional, logistical, or financial support (United Way 211, n.d.).

When offering resources, do so with kindness and empowerment. “Would you like me to send these so you can look over them?” or “I can go with you to the support group if you like” shows solidarity more than simple lists.

Conclusion

Breaking the silence around prostate cancer starts with each of us. When people like my brother share their stories publicly, they help dissolve the inherited shame and hush that have held families back. As a friend or family member, your role is vital. You can encourage openness by asking caring questions, listening without judgment, and affirming that seeking support is a brave act. As a community, we must insist we talk about prostate cancer not as an embarrassment, but as a journey many endure, and one from which many survive.

Prostate Cancer Awareness Month may only last 30 days, but the conversation behind it should last year-round. Let us stand together to transform silence into awareness, shame into support, and fear into action.

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About the Author: Dr. Jessica Henlon holds a Ph.D. in Psychology with a specialization in Education. She is an Education Contributor for Florida National News. Dr. Henlon can be reached at Education@FloridaNationalNews.com or book.jessicahenlon@gmail.com.